Where Have You Been?

Other than brief interruptions for the Cheerleader of the Week (and those will continue), we have been silent for a few days. Well, everyone needs a break. Let’s see what has happened while we were gone?

- Florida beat Arkansas to win the SEC title. Obviously, Junior and I were surprised, not totally shocked, but surprised. Florida was the better team, but Arkansas certainly didn’t help themselves by a) trying to field a punt on the 5-yard line or b) deciding that passing was the way to go. Oh well, congrats Gators.

- Michigan got jumped by Florida to lose out in the quest to get beat by Ohio State in Glendale. Michael has been trying to swallow the bitter pill, but it just isn’t going down very well. And no, we don’t have any pity for him, Michigan is a one loss team. They had their chance. No, it isn’t a very good argument, but it beats the excuses put out there a few years ago in defense of leaving out an undefeated team. I mean seriously, Michigan should have scheduled better out of conference, or not completely sucked last year, or have some iota of tradition. In the end, that would have never happened to Alabama because, you know, Alabama has won 1,352 national titles.

- Auburn’s basketball team is doing this crazy rendition of the 1998-99 team. WTF? We expect losing from the basketball team. Shit, the team is getting a new arena that will only be full for graduation and shitty Widespread Panic/Kenny Chesney concerts. I mean there are standards to uphold.

- This is a little old, but David “The Swimming God” Marsh is going to “pursue other opportunities.” Those “other opportunities” just happen to be in North Carolina working for U.S. Swimming. Don’t get us started on the shameful way that Marsh was treated. You think Mike Shula was left out in the cold? Marsh, he of 10 national titles (and those are real ones, not the mythical football titles), had to quit to get a new pool built. I know, I know no one goes to watch swim meets. Well, no one goes to watch the basketball team either. Marsh’s decision was probably made a little easier during the worst halftime in the history of modern college football when the stadium announcer failed to recognize him as the coach of the Men’s and Women’s National Title teams.

Worst halftime ever. Warning, your ears may bleed

- Alabama still has not hired a football coach and we don’t expect anyone to take control of that mass of ridiculousness until well into January. Don’t worry though, the daily updates are not going away as some people do not deal in reality and continue to beat a dead horse.

- The NFL season is slowly winding down. An update, the Texans suck. Jason Campbell has looked decent at times for Buford’s Skins. We both agree that the Saints are ensuring unrealistic expectations that will not be fulfilled because…well because they are the Saints. And on a whole, no one in the NFL is dominating.

- Speaking of the NFL, we truly can’t comprehend why, when the debate about best quarterback in the league comes up, analysts fall over themselves trying to add another name next to Peyton Manning. I know the guy has never won anything, yeah yeah bite me. Did any of you watch that game last night? Holy crap, he was unconscious. Now come on, if you compare every QB in the league at their best, there is no one even close. That being said, the Colts still won’t win the SuperBowl this year. Sorry Colts fans.

-Finally, we want to pass along our best wishes to all of you idiots that waited until the last minute to buy your Christmas gifts. Enjoy the throngs of people rushing around like complete idiots looking for the new Justin Timberlake CD for their 10-year old daughter. You could always do what we do, give such crappy gifts that no one wants you to buy them anything. ‘Tis the season.