LSU Claims Tuberville Started World War I, not Gavrilo Princip

LSU players are insisting that it was actually Auburn's Tommy Tuberville that assassinated Franz Ferdinand in 1914 to start World War I. This new information flies in the face of decades of evidence that Gavrilo Princip and the Young Bosnia group were the perpetrators of the crime that lead to the beginning of World War I.

“When we first started looking at the evidence, I wasn’t sure. I mean Princip and Young Bosnia were some bad MoFos. But I’m convinced now, Tubs did it and I’m mad as hell,” said Tigers linebacker Ali Highsmith.

The Tigers say the evidence shows that Tuberville and several Auburn players, current and past, planned and executed the assassination. “Tuberville was the ringleader and did the shooting,” Highsmith adds.

This man took the fall for Tommy Tuberville

When told about the new theory, LSU fan Greg Corndogeaux had this to say, “This is just another reason to hate Tuberville. I mean the cigars in 1999, running up the score in 2000, and trying to claim that Auburn deserved the national title in 2004 were bad enough, but I’m related to Ferdinand. I hope LSU kicks Auburn’s butt this weekend.”

When asked if this was just a way to fire up his team, head coach Les Miles denied that he would use those kind of tactics. “I wouldn’t drag up old information as a motivating tool. That is just lame. I mean if this were a case of useless and completely old information that no one cared about right now, well I wouldn’t worrying about it. However, this is new and fresh like my nice white hat.”

When Auburn head coach and alleged assassin, Tommy Tuberville was asked about the allegations at his weekly press conference, he said, “Click Clack.”