SEC Picks - Week 3
After last week, Junior now understands why I’m the Sheriff and he is the Deputy. Yours truly went 7-1 straight up and 6-1 against the spread while Junior went 4-4 and 1-6, respectively.
Oh and Coach Orgeron, Junior is the one who left the bag of flaming dog poop on your doorstep Saturday night. Email me and I will give you his address so you can be sure to dispense proper punishment.
Moving on to this week, there are no real must-see matchups. The premiere matchup will be Arkansas and Alabama in Fayetteville. Two teams with zero offense and above average defenses. Sign me up. Oh who am I kidding? I will be good and liquored up and watching the game on Saturday.
Colorado at Georgia – Georgia favored by 27.5
Junior: Is the honeymoon over in Boulder for Dan Hawkins? After UGA whips them, it might be. Georgia 48, Colorado 10.
Buford: I know I sound like a broken record, but Mark Richt has those boys playing well on defense. What to make of Colorado? I wonder if all that new age, zen-focusing screwed them up? Maybe you should go back to all-night coke and stripper parties Coach Hawkins? Georgia 35, Colorado 3.
Buffalo at Auburn – Auburn favored by 43
Junior: Word out of Auburn is that Kenny Iron’s won’t play. He will be nursing wounds from last week’s war. Auburn will win, but I’m not sure they will cover. Auburn 41, Buffalo 10.
Buford: Anytime one of your starting guards is visibly pissed off after winning a huge game, you know that the next week’s opponent is in trouble. The offense looked terrible last weekend and really hasn’t gotten into sync all year. Add that to the defense getting back a senior linebacker who hasn’t played all year and you have trouble for Buffalo. It appears that Brandon Cox will play, but Irons won’t. I imagine that if Kenny had run for 200 last weekend, he would be playing for that Heisman campaign, but we can all pack away the buttons. Auburn 52, Buffalo 7.
Marshall at Tennessee – Tennessee favored by 22.5
Junior: The Herd come into Rocky Top and the Vols will be out for revenge. Tenn 35, Marshall 9.
Buford: I wonder if Matthew McConaughey be on the Marshall sideline? Marshall’s defense is giving up 4.2 yards per carry. That spells trouble in Knoxville. Tenn 31, Marshall 14.
Tennessee State at Vanderbilt – No Line
Junior: I know nothing about Tennessee State, but Vanderbilt wouldn’t shock me by losing to a I-AA team. However, I can’t pull the trigger on that one. Vandy 14, Tenn State 13.
Buford: You will have to excuse my young son. He is an idiot who knows nothing about football. Vandy 35, Tenn State 17.
Florida Atlantic at South Carolina – South Carolina favored by 29
Junior: Cocks make it two in a row. USC 21, FAU 7.
Buford: I think South Carolina looked at Alabama’s non-conference schedule this year and said, “Oh yeah, we can play crappier teams than you.” Is anyone really confident in the Gamecocks covering any spread this year? South Crackalacky 24, FAU 10.
Mississippi State at Alabama-Birmingham – UAB favoried by 10
Junior: I guess the MSU family is paying the price for Jackie Sherrill? How bad do you suck when Tulane manhandles you? Blazers 33, Bulldogs 21.
Buford: What is over/under on number of newspaper articles to be written this year that have to words “Croom” and “good man” in them? UAB 24, Bulldogs 17.
Tulane at Louisiana State – LSU favored by 36.5
Junior: LSU’s offense finds the endzone early and often. I have a feeling the Greenies are going to pay for a loss last weekend. Bengal Tigers 55, Tulane 6.
Buford: So, what is like to be a Tulane fan in Tiger Stadium? About as much fun as a Christian in Rome. Tigers 48, Tulane 7.
Kentucky at Florida – Florida favored by 23
Junior: Well, Florida looked decent on some drives last week and bad on others, but they got out of Knoxville with a W. And they’ll kick the snot out of the Wildcats. Florida 41, Kentucky 10.
Buford: Tennessee last week, Kentucky this week, revenge/grudge match with Alabama next week. Hmm, I smell a let down. Trust me, at the end of the season we will look back and realize this game is when Kentucky started to look like a bowl team. Florida 34, Kentucky 24.
Wake Forest at Mississippi – Ole Miss favored by 2.5
Junior: Coach O better be busting some heads this week in practice. Rebels 27, Wake 13.
Buford: This is the week that we look back and realize that Ole Miss is not a bowl team. What is up with the defense not stopping anyone? Super stud Patrick Willis does still play for Ole Miss, right? He didn’t decide to leave for the NFL after fall camp, right? Protestants Preachers 21, Rebels 17.
Alabama at Arkansas – Arkansas favored by 2.5
Junior: As much as I want to pick the Hogs in this one, I just can’t. Both teams struggled against Vandy (although Bama should have won by much more). Both teams have great running backs. I think the difference is Bama’s D. Bama in a nail biter. Alabama 21, Arkansas 20.
Buford: I have an idea for Mike Slive. Instead of working on the conference’s reputation for cheating, do something important. Move either the Auburn-LSU or Tennessee-Florida game back a week so I don’t have to watch crappy football. Life is too short for crappy beer and crappy football. This is an example of crappy football. This will probably come down to a field goal by a freakin’ kicker. I hate kickers. Alabama 17, Arkansas 14.
Oh and Coach Orgeron, Junior is the one who left the bag of flaming dog poop on your doorstep Saturday night. Email me and I will give you his address so you can be sure to dispense proper punishment.
Moving on to this week, there are no real must-see matchups. The premiere matchup will be Arkansas and Alabama in Fayetteville. Two teams with zero offense and above average defenses. Sign me up. Oh who am I kidding? I will be good and liquored up and watching the game on Saturday.
Colorado at Georgia – Georgia favored by 27.5
Junior: Is the honeymoon over in Boulder for Dan Hawkins? After UGA whips them, it might be. Georgia 48, Colorado 10.
Buford: I know I sound like a broken record, but Mark Richt has those boys playing well on defense. What to make of Colorado? I wonder if all that new age, zen-focusing screwed them up? Maybe you should go back to all-night coke and stripper parties Coach Hawkins? Georgia 35, Colorado 3.
Buffalo at Auburn – Auburn favored by 43
Junior: Word out of Auburn is that Kenny Iron’s won’t play. He will be nursing wounds from last week’s war. Auburn will win, but I’m not sure they will cover. Auburn 41, Buffalo 10.
Buford: Anytime one of your starting guards is visibly pissed off after winning a huge game, you know that the next week’s opponent is in trouble. The offense looked terrible last weekend and really hasn’t gotten into sync all year. Add that to the defense getting back a senior linebacker who hasn’t played all year and you have trouble for Buffalo. It appears that Brandon Cox will play, but Irons won’t. I imagine that if Kenny had run for 200 last weekend, he would be playing for that Heisman campaign, but we can all pack away the buttons. Auburn 52, Buffalo 7.
Marshall at Tennessee – Tennessee favored by 22.5
Junior: The Herd come into Rocky Top and the Vols will be out for revenge. Tenn 35, Marshall 9.
Buford: I wonder if Matthew McConaughey be on the Marshall sideline? Marshall’s defense is giving up 4.2 yards per carry. That spells trouble in Knoxville. Tenn 31, Marshall 14.
Tennessee State at Vanderbilt – No Line
Junior: I know nothing about Tennessee State, but Vanderbilt wouldn’t shock me by losing to a I-AA team. However, I can’t pull the trigger on that one. Vandy 14, Tenn State 13.
Buford: You will have to excuse my young son. He is an idiot who knows nothing about football. Vandy 35, Tenn State 17.
Florida Atlantic at South Carolina – South Carolina favored by 29
Junior: Cocks make it two in a row. USC 21, FAU 7.
Buford: I think South Carolina looked at Alabama’s non-conference schedule this year and said, “Oh yeah, we can play crappier teams than you.” Is anyone really confident in the Gamecocks covering any spread this year? South Crackalacky 24, FAU 10.
Mississippi State at Alabama-Birmingham – UAB favoried by 10
Junior: I guess the MSU family is paying the price for Jackie Sherrill? How bad do you suck when Tulane manhandles you? Blazers 33, Bulldogs 21.
Buford: What is over/under on number of newspaper articles to be written this year that have to words “Croom” and “good man” in them? UAB 24, Bulldogs 17.
Tulane at Louisiana State – LSU favored by 36.5
Junior: LSU’s offense finds the endzone early and often. I have a feeling the Greenies are going to pay for a loss last weekend. Bengal Tigers 55, Tulane 6.
Buford: So, what is like to be a Tulane fan in Tiger Stadium? About as much fun as a Christian in Rome. Tigers 48, Tulane 7.
Kentucky at Florida – Florida favored by 23
Junior: Well, Florida looked decent on some drives last week and bad on others, but they got out of Knoxville with a W. And they’ll kick the snot out of the Wildcats. Florida 41, Kentucky 10.
Buford: Tennessee last week, Kentucky this week, revenge/grudge match with Alabama next week. Hmm, I smell a let down. Trust me, at the end of the season we will look back and realize this game is when Kentucky started to look like a bowl team. Florida 34, Kentucky 24.
Wake Forest at Mississippi – Ole Miss favored by 2.5
Junior: Coach O better be busting some heads this week in practice. Rebels 27, Wake 13.
Buford: This is the week that we look back and realize that Ole Miss is not a bowl team. What is up with the defense not stopping anyone? Super stud Patrick Willis does still play for Ole Miss, right? He didn’t decide to leave for the NFL after fall camp, right? Protestants Preachers 21, Rebels 17.
Alabama at Arkansas – Arkansas favored by 2.5
Junior: As much as I want to pick the Hogs in this one, I just can’t. Both teams struggled against Vandy (although Bama should have won by much more). Both teams have great running backs. I think the difference is Bama’s D. Bama in a nail biter. Alabama 21, Arkansas 20.
Buford: I have an idea for Mike Slive. Instead of working on the conference’s reputation for cheating, do something important. Move either the Auburn-LSU or Tennessee-Florida game back a week so I don’t have to watch crappy football. Life is too short for crappy beer and crappy football. This is an example of crappy football. This will probably come down to a field goal by a freakin’ kicker. I hate kickers. Alabama 17, Arkansas 14.
posted by Buford T. Justice at 6:21 AM
1 Comments:
Yep Buford, the football is so crappy this weekend we're taking a roadtrip to see The Bandit's Big Fishbowl in Atlanta...
Cheers,
Jester
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